What’s it like being a stay-at-home dad for 3+ years?
On February 11, 2022, I had the privilege of quitting my job of 9+ years at Langrand to raise my 18-month-old daughter full-time.
I genuinely loved working at Langrand, so it was a hard decision—but a definitive one. Here’s me on my last day saying goodbye to my beloved colleagues:
I’ve always dreamt of being a stay-at-home dad, but never thought it would actually be possible. COVID-19 changed everything, of course. With the Delta variant on the loose, my wife and I decided not to use childcare. And financially, it just made more sense for me to be the one to quit.
It felt like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I embraced it. I had the chance to craft my daughter’s childhood to my heart’s desire.
When I tell friends and family that I’m a stay-at-home dad, they usually become very interested. Here are some of the common questions I get:
-
It’s nice, but it’s not easy.
Honestly, before I became a dad, I thought parenting was easy.
“Yeah, newborns probably wake you up at night, but after the first year, it’s probably pretty easy!”
Wrong!
I love parenthood, but it’s A LOT of work! In fact, it’s waaay more work than my Art Director job. Parenting is literally 24/7/365. I’ve never had to unexpectedly wake up at 3:00 AM to design something for Langrand.
But that’s parenting a young child in a nutshell. There’s always something to do.
Parenting full-time is an honor, a privilege and a blessing. But it’s definitely not a leisurely vacation.
-
Being a stay-at-home dad was never about making any kind of social statement. It was just something that worked for my particular family. It was a practical decision, not an ideological one.
The way I see it, as long as the parents are dutifully contributing and they’re both happy with how tasks are distributed, I say do whatever works.
-
Yes, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Boredom is a part of life. Planning meals, preparing food, cooking food, cleaning spills, tidying toys, wiping butts—not exactly exciting stuff.
But it’s necessary.
It comes with the territory. You can’t just take one aspect and leave the other. You take the whole package. And it’s an honor to take on that duty.
-
Personally, I have a tendency to get sucked into work, so I made a conscious decision to avoid any kind of professional work in any capacity.
I wanted to go all-in and totally immerse myself in the stay-at-home dad world. For a few years, I actually didn’t get much “Me Time” at the end of the day. So part-time work would’ve been overwhelming on top of parenting duties.
-
I worked on some fun personal projects for myself—Mainly “Explainer” type visuals to reinforce new things I’ve learned.
As a parent, I would learn new things by listening to podcasts. And I often like to process that information by exploring it visually.
-
For the first few years after quitting, I did not miss the working world at all for obvious reasons. I was 100% focused on raising my daughter, and since it was a lot of work, I didn’t have much energy left over to even think about professional work.
But eventually, my daughter got older and parenting became easier. And then, after around two years, I started daydreaming about working again. I “got that itch” as people say.
I realized that I really missed being part of a team. Working together to achieve a common goal. I missed the daily interactions with my colleagues, connecting and building rapport. I missed the magic.
-
Throughout the day, there were pockets of time when my daughter was occupied with something (like building a block tower). So like any good parental supervisor, I would… scroll on my phone.
I’d read news and see random work that I admire. I would save them for future reference—even though I had no idea when I would actually pull them back out.
-
The monotony. It’s A LOT of frenetic work. A lot of chores. Day after day, week after week, month after month.
And while my daughter was priority numero uno and always taken care of, balancing other things in my life was a different story.
For example, I wasn’t able to work out as much as I wanted to. And I had trouble finding time to meet up with my friends.
That’s the toughest part about parenting that most people don’t talk about.
But if were easy, everyone would do it! Parenting isn’t easy, but it is an honor.
When I made the decision to be a stay-at-home dad, I was totally at peace with whatever came with that decision. Absolutely no regrets! These younger years are absolutely magical. I am forever grateful ❤️